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Dec. 7th, 2013 08:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
demakatI didn't do too much today at work. I ended up talking with a coworker about life things for a while. She connects with lots of people and it finally dawned on me why. She expresses more emotions about things and receives more in return. It's pretty rare that I'll cry over things, I don't really have anything in my life worth getting that upset over. It did remind me of something my mom said, that I should tell people when I think they're doing a good job or are just plain awesome. Maybe they don't realize it, or don't know. It seems like a good idea, but it's hard for me to implement because of my delayed processing of events. I guess I could just ask people to remember quickly with me before I say things.
I think I need to set an alarm to go to sleep by. I haven't really gotten good sleep the last few days. Once because I was skyping with people and last night because I was making things to go with my "ugly" sweater that isn't really very ugly and more just awkward. I put bells on it. I made a black and gold friendship bracelet in a pattern of black hearts to go with the gold bells on the sweater. I need to find a gold/yellow nail polish and a gold glitter so when I wear it to christmas at my aunt's house I'll look like I care. I do care...I just don't really care about being at their house. The differences are sometimes stark, and my family suspects they all wait for us to leave and then start the "real" party with alcohol. I have to remember to eat before I go as well, so when everything is covered in cheese or made with milk I don't get hives later. Thanksgiving proved that still happens, thanks dumplings.
Been a little disappointed with being fat lately as well. I don't really know what to do about it. I haven't even really had time to do the things I want to do, let alone things I don't want to do...like exercise. One of my friends wants to find out where we can do yoga. I would love to have the money to have an unlimited yoga membership somewhere, had a shit day went to yoga. Had a great day? going to yoga. But home is an hour away. always. The solution for me is that I need to clean so I can do yoga at home. ...but I'm tired and trying to get projects done in time for christmas. cyclic stupid.
also yoga doesn't really fix the fat part. I've been eating to fix the tired lately. This could be part of the issue. Lots more sugar and coffee than I would have if I didn't feel sleepy.
I keep feeling like I want to flee, a stoic non-dramatic stand up and just leave - flee. The consequences of doing so are not pleasing either though. Instead I need to plan my spring trip, whittling down the things I'm going to take with me and hoping to save enough to stay in a tiny hotel. Either one of the POD hotels or The Jane. I'd prefer the Jane because I like the cabin styling. With my budget though it will likely be as cheap as possible and somewhere in queens or jersey. Or if people insist, on the floor at my friend's house because the person I was suppose to move out with (but then paid bills with that money because I am an adult!) is still living on their couch. Yet I've still been requested to visit. I could tell her I pass but that she had better start saving and we'll go on a west coast train ride.
maybe that's enough words for now. This is a thing again it seems. Updating stuff. Inconsistent consistency.
I think I need to set an alarm to go to sleep by. I haven't really gotten good sleep the last few days. Once because I was skyping with people and last night because I was making things to go with my "ugly" sweater that isn't really very ugly and more just awkward. I put bells on it. I made a black and gold friendship bracelet in a pattern of black hearts to go with the gold bells on the sweater. I need to find a gold/yellow nail polish and a gold glitter so when I wear it to christmas at my aunt's house I'll look like I care. I do care...I just don't really care about being at their house. The differences are sometimes stark, and my family suspects they all wait for us to leave and then start the "real" party with alcohol. I have to remember to eat before I go as well, so when everything is covered in cheese or made with milk I don't get hives later. Thanksgiving proved that still happens, thanks dumplings.
Been a little disappointed with being fat lately as well. I don't really know what to do about it. I haven't even really had time to do the things I want to do, let alone things I don't want to do...like exercise. One of my friends wants to find out where we can do yoga. I would love to have the money to have an unlimited yoga membership somewhere, had a shit day went to yoga. Had a great day? going to yoga. But home is an hour away. always. The solution for me is that I need to clean so I can do yoga at home. ...but I'm tired and trying to get projects done in time for christmas. cyclic stupid.
also yoga doesn't really fix the fat part. I've been eating to fix the tired lately. This could be part of the issue. Lots more sugar and coffee than I would have if I didn't feel sleepy.
I keep feeling like I want to flee, a stoic non-dramatic stand up and just leave - flee. The consequences of doing so are not pleasing either though. Instead I need to plan my spring trip, whittling down the things I'm going to take with me and hoping to save enough to stay in a tiny hotel. Either one of the POD hotels or The Jane. I'd prefer the Jane because I like the cabin styling. With my budget though it will likely be as cheap as possible and somewhere in queens or jersey. Or if people insist, on the floor at my friend's house because the person I was suppose to move out with (but then paid bills with that money because I am an adult!) is still living on their couch. Yet I've still been requested to visit. I could tell her I pass but that she had better start saving and we'll go on a west coast train ride.
maybe that's enough words for now. This is a thing again it seems. Updating stuff. Inconsistent consistency.
