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Feb. 6th, 2013 08:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
demakatMy fortune cookie told me something about how I look at life as an adventure.
It doesn't feel like an adventure, it feels like everything is moving too fast.
I changed my facebook profile and coverthing to all kinds of bullshit and I'm kind of considering making a second one for people who I actually want to be friends with, but I dislike facebook as a platform for communication on the internet so much.
In a despirate attempt to play the new ben harper and charlie musselwhite stuff at work I ended up making a radio station on pandora and it ended up opening up a portal to music I love, but I didn't know the locker combo before now. It's like blues/rock. Things are coming up like james mcmurtry. Liking something but not knowing what to call it makes sharing hard. I don't think anyone else really enjoys it, and its just enough rock for my co-worker to be tolerant. I never learned the music names for things I liked because the radio always played what I loved. But that is slowly going away as the station is consumed by a corporation. It's a slow creep.
Then to top everything off I feel like I'm doing a complex dance with this guy at work. I like him and sometimes I think he might also like me. I'm not the self styled 'loudest introvert you're never likely to meet' without reason though. I keep getting mentally flattened by my pitiful self esteem and my inability to understand why anyone would like me. Even if this is just friends, I still fill with extreme amounts of self doubt. I feel annoying to new people, like my grandma's dog who claws at your arm for attention. It hurts and people wish he would just calm down and/or go away.
I feel kind of stressed and my shoulders have been hurting. Life is moving too quickly and I want to get off for a little while.
gonna go read about the chemisty of cooking. arting is not happening, as I don't feel I'm getting anywhere lately.
It doesn't feel like an adventure, it feels like everything is moving too fast.
I changed my facebook profile and coverthing to all kinds of bullshit and I'm kind of considering making a second one for people who I actually want to be friends with, but I dislike facebook as a platform for communication on the internet so much.
In a despirate attempt to play the new ben harper and charlie musselwhite stuff at work I ended up making a radio station on pandora and it ended up opening up a portal to music I love, but I didn't know the locker combo before now. It's like blues/rock. Things are coming up like james mcmurtry. Liking something but not knowing what to call it makes sharing hard. I don't think anyone else really enjoys it, and its just enough rock for my co-worker to be tolerant. I never learned the music names for things I liked because the radio always played what I loved. But that is slowly going away as the station is consumed by a corporation. It's a slow creep.
Then to top everything off I feel like I'm doing a complex dance with this guy at work. I like him and sometimes I think he might also like me. I'm not the self styled 'loudest introvert you're never likely to meet' without reason though. I keep getting mentally flattened by my pitiful self esteem and my inability to understand why anyone would like me. Even if this is just friends, I still fill with extreme amounts of self doubt. I feel annoying to new people, like my grandma's dog who claws at your arm for attention. It hurts and people wish he would just calm down and/or go away.
I feel kind of stressed and my shoulders have been hurting. Life is moving too quickly and I want to get off for a little while.
gonna go read about the chemisty of cooking. arting is not happening, as I don't feel I'm getting anywhere lately.
