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[personal profile] demakat
I have this book, everyday matters by danny gregory. He starts drawing things after his wife is confined to a wheel chair because of an accident. Along with their small child they make life happen, accepting the new normal. In his newest book I just got from the library, its basically happened again. But this time his son is a teen and his wife has died...but its still drawn.

I like the books because it reminds me how simple drawing can be. Draw the things around you. But I always look up and around me, why would anyone care about my things. Then I feel shame because I'm reading about a person who's wife has just died and thinking about how people wouldn't care much about me. It brings to light yet again, that I have little value for myself or what I do. That I still don't know how to solve this when I can so easily ignore other feelings about my actions. Having been known to wear non-hat things as hats in stores is currently my best example. I am aware that this is odd and I could be embarrassed for myself, but instead I choose not to be. However when it comes to things that I've drawn, or that I could draw, I remain unmoving. Unable to convince myself to continue on despite those feelings of fear, embarrassment and strangely enough stubbornness.

Also I realized today that everything that is important to me - is on the floor. Things that don't matter as much are on shelves or in drawers.

this might get updated as the day goes on.

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demakat

June 2020

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