for whom it is reserved
Aug. 5th, 2012 11:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
demakatSometimes I don't like having this journal. I get embarrassed about what I put here, what I get upset about or what I've thought of and written down. I'm probably offensive sometimes without knowing it.
Its hard though sometimes when I want to talk about things, yet I don't have anyone to talk them through with. I've had too much of people lately and few of them discuss things with me any deeper than surface level. Its not bad, I just am not always finding what I'm looking for when I interact with people. And I've had little downtime to really collect myself again.
-
I was in bed looking up animal meanings. Lately I've been reading the new york times online and they have an ongoing thing about elephants. Its where I learned more about infra sound. I just think about elephants now and then while I'm working or doing other things.
I was watching a movie with elephants with a friend and afterwards she said she didn't know that elephants growled like that. I don't remember learning this information, but just knowing it. I'd like to meet happy elephants some day and be able to feel the sounds we can't hear.
While I was looking up things about that though, I looked up badgers again and I came across something that made a lot of sense. That badgers who burrow, visit the underworld and don't find it scary. Don't own it, don't love or hate it, just go there more often than others. I thought of my love for cartoon skulls and how other people seem to...shy away from that sort of thing. Maybe death hasn't been close enough to me yet to really be upset by it the way other people seem to be.
I'm part of a creative group and one of the ladies was saying when I brought this up, that it was like the day of the dead. She met someone who had explained that it was really a lot of fun and kind of like a big party. She was surprised thinking that it would be a sort of morbid thing.
Even if I am underground most of the time, sometimes its good to come up and lay in the grass under the moon.
-
I can't get over this guy. I like that when he is performing he moves his hands like the thing he is imitating. I like the other songs he does but I first heard Wandering Star, and I nearly cried. Its been a long time since that has happened with music.
I don't think that this started it, but I've been noodling about things and how I make art. What motivates me.
There is a lot of stuff that people don't see. I often make art based on a word phrase instead of a solid idea. It feels like timelapse of a flower blooming: Phrase, Growth, pen to paper, and only slightly less powerful than a bomb in my brain. Sometimes I can't hold on to the phrases long enough to get them written down or the image I get goes by too fast. Drive by for the creative mind.
I guess my job doesn't hinder this anymore, and I've started being able to write things down again.
-
Finding out that refined sugar makes me feel hurla-whirl. Ate some chocolate earlier today and feel kind of fine, but just straight sugary things after having had no other food is cause for ick feeling. Working on no refined sugar, but its like with dairy where I don't remember till after I ate it.
Had a potato pancake at work and minutes later felt so tired I could hardly think. I can't believe I use to function like that all the time. It probably had dairy in it somewhere, which my body still doesn't like in case I was wondering. The ingredients didn't say anything about milk but doesn't mean that the sign goes with what they actually made. I know they have a recipe with butter in it too and the sign was probably wrong. joy.
Doing laundry, need to hang stuff out on the line. And everyone finally left the house for the day so I should be able to shower without someone else also trying to shower down stairs.
Its hard though sometimes when I want to talk about things, yet I don't have anyone to talk them through with. I've had too much of people lately and few of them discuss things with me any deeper than surface level. Its not bad, I just am not always finding what I'm looking for when I interact with people. And I've had little downtime to really collect myself again.
-
I was in bed looking up animal meanings. Lately I've been reading the new york times online and they have an ongoing thing about elephants. Its where I learned more about infra sound. I just think about elephants now and then while I'm working or doing other things.
I was watching a movie with elephants with a friend and afterwards she said she didn't know that elephants growled like that. I don't remember learning this information, but just knowing it. I'd like to meet happy elephants some day and be able to feel the sounds we can't hear.
While I was looking up things about that though, I looked up badgers again and I came across something that made a lot of sense. That badgers who burrow, visit the underworld and don't find it scary. Don't own it, don't love or hate it, just go there more often than others. I thought of my love for cartoon skulls and how other people seem to...shy away from that sort of thing. Maybe death hasn't been close enough to me yet to really be upset by it the way other people seem to be.
I'm part of a creative group and one of the ladies was saying when I brought this up, that it was like the day of the dead. She met someone who had explained that it was really a lot of fun and kind of like a big party. She was surprised thinking that it would be a sort of morbid thing.
Even if I am underground most of the time, sometimes its good to come up and lay in the grass under the moon.
-
I can't get over this guy. I like that when he is performing he moves his hands like the thing he is imitating. I like the other songs he does but I first heard Wandering Star, and I nearly cried. Its been a long time since that has happened with music.
I don't think that this started it, but I've been noodling about things and how I make art. What motivates me.
There is a lot of stuff that people don't see. I often make art based on a word phrase instead of a solid idea. It feels like timelapse of a flower blooming: Phrase, Growth, pen to paper, and only slightly less powerful than a bomb in my brain. Sometimes I can't hold on to the phrases long enough to get them written down or the image I get goes by too fast. Drive by for the creative mind.
I guess my job doesn't hinder this anymore, and I've started being able to write things down again.
-
Finding out that refined sugar makes me feel hurla-whirl. Ate some chocolate earlier today and feel kind of fine, but just straight sugary things after having had no other food is cause for ick feeling. Working on no refined sugar, but its like with dairy where I don't remember till after I ate it.
Had a potato pancake at work and minutes later felt so tired I could hardly think. I can't believe I use to function like that all the time. It probably had dairy in it somewhere, which my body still doesn't like in case I was wondering. The ingredients didn't say anything about milk but doesn't mean that the sign goes with what they actually made. I know they have a recipe with butter in it too and the sign was probably wrong. joy.
Doing laundry, need to hang stuff out on the line. And everyone finally left the house for the day so I should be able to shower without someone else also trying to shower down stairs.
no subject
Date: 2012-08-05 10:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-06 05:56 am (UTC)