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Jul. 4th, 2014 09:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
demakatThere are fireworks going off all over. It doesn't really bother me, but I also feel kind of rejected by life right now and I don't want to go see them.
I'm sure if I went back and graphed all the posts where I just become a giant mess it would coincide with me being all hormonal. I already kind of did that at my parents over dinner though, so maybe this will be more coherent.
I seem to be stuck between what I can do, and what I want to do. The answers to that are Anything and I don't know. I feels like I've never known. Like I never even had a clue about what direction to be heading in.
Yet in talking with my parents and one of my sisters over dinner I've come to realize some things that I like about myself and need to remember. I can be aggressive, and it's scary to some people, but the thing I love about myself is my neutrality. I am almost always able to hear what other people are saying. It doesn't mean that I agree with everything, but I can see where someone might be coming from.
Sometimes I get lost though. That I swing too far to one side or other other and get kind of stuck because I don't realize what's happening. I need to be aware that this happens and maybe it will help me come back to myself.
It feels like my heart is missing. Yet that seems stupid, and emotional.
I'm sure if I went back and graphed all the posts where I just become a giant mess it would coincide with me being all hormonal. I already kind of did that at my parents over dinner though, so maybe this will be more coherent.
I seem to be stuck between what I can do, and what I want to do. The answers to that are Anything and I don't know. I feels like I've never known. Like I never even had a clue about what direction to be heading in.
Yet in talking with my parents and one of my sisters over dinner I've come to realize some things that I like about myself and need to remember. I can be aggressive, and it's scary to some people, but the thing I love about myself is my neutrality. I am almost always able to hear what other people are saying. It doesn't mean that I agree with everything, but I can see where someone might be coming from.
Sometimes I get lost though. That I swing too far to one side or other other and get kind of stuck because I don't realize what's happening. I need to be aware that this happens and maybe it will help me come back to myself.
It feels like my heart is missing. Yet that seems stupid, and emotional.
