at least I didn't take pictures for you

[demakat]

It was like a dead smelly rotting mouse...took up residence in our bath tub drain.

The tub water when you showered had not been going down. I am not one who showers often. My hair and skin would be very very sad* if I showered more often than I do. So to me it seemed over night that the water hadn't been going down. One shower it was sort of annoying and the next I was wadeing around in the tub before I was even half done showering.

someone takes a shower in there every single day. But it couldn't possibly be her hair gunking up the drain. that would be icky and un-beautiful.

So I turn a bit of armature wire (I got a whole ton of it once when I was feeling rich and it has come in handy so many times, akin to duct tape) into a tiny hook on one end and a loop on the other. After pokeing around I get called down to dinner. At this point I had been pulling out small bits of black stuff I have since learned is SOAP! joy. washed up really really good and went to dinner**

So while at dinner my dad gets home and I ask him how he gets the drain un-clogged. He looks pretty upset, and I know why cause its smells awful. Then my cousin shows up in the drive and wants him to do something for her. So after having googled what other people have said about this I went back up to try again.

BUT HOW DO I FIX IT!!!

First of all if you think its some fairly light stuff, like your water is still mostly draining but its gotten all sluggish, try baking soda and vinegar. I found the best option was to pour baking soda down the drain and then pour vinegar on to that. It creates a mini unharmful reaction, and yes now you know how to make the science fair volcano. For like oh...1/8 a cup of baking soda I poured vinegar over it of about 1/8cup a few times before it had all reacted with the baking soda in the drain.
Then if things seem to be doing better it was suggested to me by the resident plumber (my dad) to fill up the tub/sink half way and let it drain through.

IF this did not work and its a bathtub and people who shower in it have hair longer than 2-3 inches, bust out some wire. Something that is going to hold its shape at least somewhat. Coat hangers are nice. You make the little hook on one side and unbend the rest. I think my piece was 8 inches to start with, and that was a bit short. I am stubborn.

You are basically going to stick the hook part down the drain (there will be a bend usually, the wire should be able to bend with this) and then "twirl" it around in a consistent direction. I turned to the right. whoo! fancy! ("I'm not an ambi-turner") ANYHOW! now you pull!

Ideally out will come the sludge of the earth mixed with lots of hair. It will smell like one of the most awful smells you have ever smelled, unless you regularly play with roadkill. I made the mistake of getting my face too close to the drain, thus making my head lower than my stomach. I was nearly ill, I corrected my posture and eventually I got use to the smell. If you don't have that happen, just remember mouth breathing and to keep your head above your tummy.

Now is not a good time to tell everyone that I also employed a flashlight to see just what kind of wonders were down in my drain. This is optional. I imagine it would make things worse for some, while it allowed me to see what or how much I was actually able to extract vs. what was still just out of view.

Repeat steps 20 through 30.
Repeat until you feel as though that was a damn lot of decaying awful down there, and surely the drain must be free and clear now! Mine was roughly the size of a decayed mouse (it wasn't a mouse it came out in to many small bits that were clearly not mouse) but both me and she-who-shall-not-be-descriminated-against-for-her-showering-habits both have long hair. If its just one person maybe less, if its lots of people or you don't have a little screen thing...well there may be more.

The best part is you don't have to get 100% of it. Just enough for the drain pipe to be able to deal.
Then if you are me and you like science, you pour more baking soda in the now draining drain and then pour more vinegar on it.
After this we revert back to daddy suggestions and fill up the tub half way and then let it drain! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!1

then wash your hands/arms/feet...you know just probably take a shower and scrub. And curse your soap for being so damn smelly once it has started to decay?

You gain +1 life skill.
Think of how awesome you are,
also consider how much more awesome your dad is for doing this for you for so long.

if it ain't none of the things above at all, consider calling a plumber. apparently all that chemical drain crap that is out there to buy will also eat away at the pipes and it will be more expensive to fix!

also ...if you decided that using a plunger is awesome. first consider where you might accidentally create a geyser. double kitchen sink? guess whats connected! sometimes this works anyhow, but if its hair in the tub usually not :(


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*its possible that if I showered more often but spent the majority of the time "washing" with oil that my skin would be happier, but I am lazy. And I would probably fall to my death on oil in the shower.

**I was going to be a biologist. I can dissect a pig, have lunch and go back to dissecting. Detachment is the name of the game, and making sure that your head is never lower than your stomach. That one is important enough it is probably mentioned above somewhere else.