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demakatthe answer is I spent time making heart garland to hang in the marketer's office. They enjoyed it.
I also got flowers from our marketer and a bar of chocolate she knew I could eat. Plus a little note about how she would be my valentine. Wordlessly feeling for me because I don't have an other.
It's very strange to have people feel for me. Our marketer has told me on numerous occasions that she wishes I were in love. Asking me if I've ever been in love, all those words like that. It makes me a little bit sad. Because no, I haven't. Given my personality and the way my mind works I could be in love with anyone, and no one. I can be in love with the magic of simply breathing, but I act like an ally cat with all but a few people. On top of that, everyone else is also trying not to feel the pain of life and they exist on a similar plane of wariness about interpersonal relationships.
So all of that, along with my observational skills and intuition being on high alert, is sort of making me feel weird. Like I'm trapped in the vibrations of the world, like I'm suppose to do something about it. Maaaan, leave me be I'm just making puzzle pictures happen. The only person more stern than me is the imaginary old "crony" woman who hands down tarot cards like missions.
---
When I was stocking coffee, which apparently needed to happen above all things. Geez okay, calm down. I spent nearly two hours putting coffee and tea on a shelf and then people come ask me if I was able to make a dent in the cart full of stuff to go out. Yes? Does it happen where someone working two hours to put out product doesn't get most of the it out on the floor? Because if so I am disappointed in whoever that is.
I don't think I'm good at what I do. I think I just focus on one thing at a time and get it done.
We got a new prep foods manager. People didn't like him because the existing assistant manager didn't get the job. I suspect that assistant of being social evil however, sitting down all smiles and ha ha ha but really planting ideas you didn't have before. It turns out that the new manager is excellent simply because he doesn't freak out. For some reason our company is fueled by freak outs, unproductive ones. I suspect they siphon the energy off and use it to power the engine room. Renewable resources or something. Anyhow, redeeming quality of life. Calmness.
---
sifting for a better life? A more me life?
I want a little beach house, the kind that are tiny and in rows with other houses because you just need a place to sleep at night that doesn't have horseshoe crabs crawling on it. Plus somewhere to cook things sometimes.
I want to rent it out for the spring and summer and fall or whatever the high season is. Live in it in the winter. Living on the beach in the winter.
The rest of the time I want a truck thing, and a tiny trailer to live in. Maybe one of those teardrop ones, maybe something I can stand up in. I could live out of an SUV-ie thing, but I want to be able to detach from my "home" if needed and use just the vehicle. I'd be able to park it at friend's place and not worry too much about imposing. I just sort of live in the area for a while. We go for coffee or tea, and walks/hikes.
Probably a dog, maybe a useless tiny breed.
I just don't know what to do while I travel around that will make me money. Doing art sort of doesn't lend itself to that sort of life style, and I could care less about photography...though it would be a decent side business. I guess that's the next part to think about.
---
I got told yet again that people are probably scared of me. Is it so hard to want reasonable arguments, facts and everyone to do their job.
In all likelihood I'm going to throw bouncy balls at one of the grocery assistant managers. That or chuck them one at a time at people... I have a whole baggy full!
I also got flowers from our marketer and a bar of chocolate she knew I could eat. Plus a little note about how she would be my valentine. Wordlessly feeling for me because I don't have an other.
It's very strange to have people feel for me. Our marketer has told me on numerous occasions that she wishes I were in love. Asking me if I've ever been in love, all those words like that. It makes me a little bit sad. Because no, I haven't. Given my personality and the way my mind works I could be in love with anyone, and no one. I can be in love with the magic of simply breathing, but I act like an ally cat with all but a few people. On top of that, everyone else is also trying not to feel the pain of life and they exist on a similar plane of wariness about interpersonal relationships.
So all of that, along with my observational skills and intuition being on high alert, is sort of making me feel weird. Like I'm trapped in the vibrations of the world, like I'm suppose to do something about it. Maaaan, leave me be I'm just making puzzle pictures happen. The only person more stern than me is the imaginary old "crony" woman who hands down tarot cards like missions.
---
When I was stocking coffee, which apparently needed to happen above all things. Geez okay, calm down. I spent nearly two hours putting coffee and tea on a shelf and then people come ask me if I was able to make a dent in the cart full of stuff to go out. Yes? Does it happen where someone working two hours to put out product doesn't get most of the it out on the floor? Because if so I am disappointed in whoever that is.
I don't think I'm good at what I do. I think I just focus on one thing at a time and get it done.
We got a new prep foods manager. People didn't like him because the existing assistant manager didn't get the job. I suspect that assistant of being social evil however, sitting down all smiles and ha ha ha but really planting ideas you didn't have before. It turns out that the new manager is excellent simply because he doesn't freak out. For some reason our company is fueled by freak outs, unproductive ones. I suspect they siphon the energy off and use it to power the engine room. Renewable resources or something. Anyhow, redeeming quality of life. Calmness.
---
sifting for a better life? A more me life?
I want a little beach house, the kind that are tiny and in rows with other houses because you just need a place to sleep at night that doesn't have horseshoe crabs crawling on it. Plus somewhere to cook things sometimes.
I want to rent it out for the spring and summer and fall or whatever the high season is. Live in it in the winter. Living on the beach in the winter.
The rest of the time I want a truck thing, and a tiny trailer to live in. Maybe one of those teardrop ones, maybe something I can stand up in. I could live out of an SUV-ie thing, but I want to be able to detach from my "home" if needed and use just the vehicle. I'd be able to park it at friend's place and not worry too much about imposing. I just sort of live in the area for a while. We go for coffee or tea, and walks/hikes.
Probably a dog, maybe a useless tiny breed.
I just don't know what to do while I travel around that will make me money. Doing art sort of doesn't lend itself to that sort of life style, and I could care less about photography...though it would be a decent side business. I guess that's the next part to think about.
---
I got told yet again that people are probably scared of me. Is it so hard to want reasonable arguments, facts and everyone to do their job.
In all likelihood I'm going to throw bouncy balls at one of the grocery assistant managers. That or chuck them one at a time at people... I have a whole baggy full!
