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Oct. 11th, 2013 07:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
demakatMostly fixed my mom's website. It had malware or something on it and a whole bunch of other shit. Reasonably it could happen again, because this is the internet. But really right now whatever.
My desks are awash with shit. One of them has had things on it for months now. Every time I clean off my main desk it gets cluttered again really fast. Plus when my mom was cleaning she started putting things on it that I might like, so now somewhere in here is that too.
Sadly I have enough energy lately to come home and draw things for the day and then do nothing. Most of these things don't have anywhere to be even.
Been feeling like life fail and I'm trying to battle it by acting like I don't feel terrible. Went to bed at 9 yesterday and slept till my alarm went off at 5. It's like my hormones are trying to kill me. I don't see why people like me, I am 28 and I would like to be in a relationship that isn't friends. I don't know how to describe that. I am the most useless girl in the world, at least the other women I know who are extremely logical are also fairly social. I'm not. I'm super logical and a super homebody.
I feel unloved. and I know this, and everything else is just irrational thinking, but it doesn't help when I'm driving home in the dark wanting someone to be in the other seat just to be there. It's hard not to think that no one really wants to be with me. knowing and feeling are different. I don't want to go back to not feeling, but this is really hard. I see why people often drink instead.
My desks are awash with shit. One of them has had things on it for months now. Every time I clean off my main desk it gets cluttered again really fast. Plus when my mom was cleaning she started putting things on it that I might like, so now somewhere in here is that too.
Sadly I have enough energy lately to come home and draw things for the day and then do nothing. Most of these things don't have anywhere to be even.
Been feeling like life fail and I'm trying to battle it by acting like I don't feel terrible. Went to bed at 9 yesterday and slept till my alarm went off at 5. It's like my hormones are trying to kill me. I don't see why people like me, I am 28 and I would like to be in a relationship that isn't friends. I don't know how to describe that. I am the most useless girl in the world, at least the other women I know who are extremely logical are also fairly social. I'm not. I'm super logical and a super homebody.
I feel unloved. and I know this, and everything else is just irrational thinking, but it doesn't help when I'm driving home in the dark wanting someone to be in the other seat just to be there. It's hard not to think that no one really wants to be with me. knowing and feeling are different. I don't want to go back to not feeling, but this is really hard. I see why people often drink instead.
