Jiro Dreams of Sushi

On friday one of the guys at work asked me how I was doing, in the passing acknowledgement sort of way, and followed it up with "no really how are you?" I don't even remember what I did say in response, probably something I found amusing but other people don't really know how to react to. But later when I was processing what had happened I realized what he had said. Its really confusing and I could have easily gotten defensive. I just don't understand why he would have really cared, its not like he could have done anything about it if I felt shitty. I would still have had to make a million signs for things.

I am glad he didn't come by the office the next day, either cause he was busy or off work, because I ended up being there nearly 14 hours and would have probably burst into tears if anyone asked for more things.

Then today when I was trying to get chocolate covered espresso beans for my sister's birthday I think the two guys behind the counter were being especially nice to me. Maybe in the awkward flirty way? I don't really know. I am dressed in awful clothes with stains on them and you are making excessive small talk with me.

I find this a little exciting, but I feel tired lately and I really just want to cuddle with people. The flirty is useless to me, I get no warm fuzzies from it.

sometimes I wish I could find the courage to be myself all of the time, but its likely everyone would find me to be a mean useless sort of person. Its not fun to feel mean and lonely.

Suppose its time to really unpack from my not vacation now. I wouldn't have been able to get back from my friend's house. Their area was okay in NJ, but I would have been taking amtrak back and penn station is underground for a long time when you start off. I didn't think that everything would be cleared out. So I am having a staycation.

cleaning or knitting, either way the movie today is Jiro Dreams Of Sushi.