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Madison is losing his birdy shit because I won't give him any delicious granola. Also...it appears that I can't type letters in the correct order. My mind powers must be shifting.
I have been drinking coffee all day...

It has been so long since I felt like I could sit down and write words about life.
Before hand I had been trying to train for a 5k race thing, but I ended up not doing it because I was too stressed with everything else going on. Which was only gencon. I was getting up at 4am so I could get to gym 3 days a week and still have enough time to shower before heading straight to work. Loved getting up early and to the gym before I knew what was happening, and loved the showering more often. It got to be all alone and didn't have to worry about running out of hot water.
But the long days were getting to me, and there was all this stuff I said I would do for my friend. So she was shipping boxes and bags to my house. Plus I also still go to another friend's house to hang out with her and my nephew*. So I was getting about 5 hours of sleep max, for a month an a half.
Then because I had requested time off for the race I wasn't going to attend anymore, I was available to take care of my nephew overnight. The kid is 2, super smart and like a mini spiderman. I have never even put him down for a nap before...AND he pooped on the floor that day. But I got him to go to bed on the first try, which was so amazing and so confusing. I was expecting to have to reapply him to bed fairly often (Spiderman can not be contained by cribs, so he is in a kid's bed already for safety. No idea what age this normally happens.)

Finally I headed off to GenCon in Indianapolis Indiana. It's the city! No. No it's not. Pretty sure there is a corn field in your city...
The convention was intense. There were so many people and I'm super glad that I was part of a booth so I had a home base. If I were just there visiting I would have spent maybe 3 hours there before I felt like going and not coming back. It's not bad, I just don't like that many people for that long.
Gamers, are not my people. They're cool, but I don't play games often. Partly because I have few people to play them with. Mostly its because I get completely sapped learning new rules and after playing one game I'm usually super tired. I'm also usually not at home, and always without any sort of companion I trust falling asleep on/near. Two things that fixed the drained tired feeling. Anyhow, I also am not nerdy enough to carry on a conversation with most of them. I thought the Hobbit was kind of lame** (yes the book, didn't even bother with the movie) and so I never read LOTR.
I also mildly ostracized myself by resisting learning and building a Magic deck. My friends started playing because their brother/in-law had started playing. I got out of playing wow for lack of enjoyment and because I had no time. I didn't need another all consuming game I won't have time for. In order to take care of myself, I spent most nights in the hotel room. I was just too tired to even watch people playing or loiter in the area. I had just made nice with all kinds of new people buying stuff all day and I was wiped.
I'm glad I did this because I was able to try out my rice cooker for making foods. I was able to play with this neat nail polish I got right before we left. I got to chat, just me and her, with a friend who was also there. I do much better with people visiting me than me going places and not feeling like I have a "home" there. Plus I could help stamp things and prepare for the next day. Going to sleep early also allowed me to get up, dress, breakfast and get to the hall when they let exhibitors back to their booths in the morning. I didn't make a ton of sales, but a few, just from being there to do so.

Bug-up-my-butt style I got back to work and decided that I didn't like how things had been going. Now I'm trying to practice dealing with one thing at a time and completing it, instead of trying to juggle everything. It super stresses me out when I do that, but I didn't notice before. I can actually feel the stress/panic rising when I start to try doing everything at once.
I'm also tossing things from my room. I got rid of my double dresser a while ago, but today I dragged my second desk out as well. I bought a new set of wire drawers that fit inside my closet, which I also spent time cleaning out. So the desk, which was housing the clothes I don't hang, wasn't needed anymore. In typing this I also thought of an option for the carts issue I couldn't figure out.

The new plan is to keep doing things for myself, because I'm out of major things to do for my friends. I'm all that's left and boy do I need some work. I care about making art. I want to read books because I know there is a connection for me between reading and wanting to create. I want to do something physical, highly considering the place my sister does boxing. I also got sort of invited to join Always Doing Stuff. But I haven't heard anything from the person curating it. I also don't know if I'm filling in for people or not. Even if I'm not part of the site I'm going to try to draw something every day in September. My brain is already cranking away at the parameters. I enjoy a medium simmer time.

I have to find a place for all the things on my bed so I can go to sleep, wake up and make cinnamon rolls. Life is very important right now.

---

*not my biological nephew
**I liked the part where Gandalf is getting everyone to the table with the bear guy we don't know is a bear guy yet.

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