boxtrolls!

Jan. 23rd, 2015 10:54 pm
demakat: (Default)
[personal profile] demakat
Despite wanting to see it I have just now seen Boxtrolls. It was good in the way a good book (which now I have to read it) is good but leaves you sad afterwards. I always wish I had someone to cuddle with when I feel like this. Curl up and go to sleep thinking of boxtrolls.

I watched this ted talk By Elizabeth Gilbert. She's the lady who wrote the book Eat, Pray, Love. Which I have read and thought was okay. But in the ted talk I linked* the thing I took away was Home. It's a really concise way to explain what I've felt like lately, and in the past year or so. Maybe it's been longer, I don't have a good sense of time. What brings me home?

I have a select group of people that remind me of who I am, and who I want to be. I may always have a hard time dealing with their seemingly irrational love of me, but I know it's there.

Most importantly though, I realized that drawing brings me home. It has just been a long time since I've stayed there. I don't want to stay, because it is hard. It's going to get hard. It will probably never be easy. I think of all the times that I just fling about "maybe I'll be a writer" as though it would be so easy. But it would be. It's way easier to get rejected over something I care less about. Writing is obviously not something I have ever spent time working on, it just happens to be a medium where I can more easily express myself than speaking. But art, is something where I do it even when my job is being a signmaker, lettering and often drawing. I do it when I'm stressed out... especially when I'm stressed out.

There are so many things I'm trying to work on. It seems like too many things sometimes, but many of them have been in the thinking stage for way longer than I wanted.

In the mean time I may look into getting a city/town job. My brother is making comparatively crazy amounts of money without having to travel very far at all. They have office jobs, so my inability to run a backhoe isn't really an issue. I just have to find the jobs and apply for them. It seems like a way better option than working customer service for a life insurance company, which seem to be the only other well paying jobs in the area.


*Her other ted talk on creative genius. Which isn't limited to artists.

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